Lost Your Career After Kids? You’re Not Alone. And We're Not Done.

Let’s talk about something that got me in my feelings this week: I was asked if I was concerned that freelancing might ruin my career. Well, that hit a nerve. Not just because I’m panicking about whether starting my own thing will end up as a slow-motion career crash, but because, after having babies and then losing my job, I felt like my career might be over entirely. I even joked about having a funeral for it, because, honestly, it felt like I was mourning something I’d built for years, brick by brick.

I had carefully crafted my life around job security, the kind of stability that comes with a remote role, part-time flexibility, and a boss who knew me. Meanwhile, my husband was flying through his career, while I felt like I’d been clipped at the wings. Sure, I’d passed up career opportunities and skipped promotions to be there for the kids, but one day, none of it mattered because I lost it all anyway.

And then I started thinking, "Why am I telling you this?" It’s not exactly the pep talk you were expecting, right? But here’s why: when you come back from maternity leave, the pressure to juggle work and motherhood is real. My advice? Don’t jump into a new role or promotion. Stick with what you know at first - trust me, those first 6-12 months after returning can be brutal.

However, what I regret most? Being complacent. After having my son, I forgot that I still had a place in the game. I didn’t have to let my career be something I used to do. I needed to remind myself that I was still allowed to feel passionate about my work, despite the nursery sicknesses, the exhaustion, and the chaos. I wasn’t just “working to live” I needed my work, even if I had convinced myself otherwise.

What I wish I’d known back then is that it’s never too late to pivot. Sure, my time has passed in some ways, but if you’re reading this, there might be a reason why. If you want to do something else, why not see what’s out there? The market is tough right now, but that doesn’t mean you should stop window shopping for better opportunities.

• Keep your CV updated. You never know when the perfect role might pop up.

• Is your current boss flexible enough to let you pick up your kids at 4 pm and finish up after bedtime? Spoiler: They might not be. But someone else could be.

• If you’ve been in the same company for years, your salary has likely stagnated. That’s not your fault - it’s just how it goes.

• You deserve to feel passionate about at least some of your work. It might feel like a fantasy, but trust me, it’s possible.

• Don’t sell yourself short. I thought I couldn’t run a team, manage a budget, or be a leader after motherhood. Well, guess what? I can. And so can you.

• Build your network. Seriously, do it. I didn’t, and I regret it. I was so focused on keeping my head down and surviving that I missed out on potential opportunities.

• Start writing. LinkedIn may feel a little awkward, but if you want to position yourself as an expert in your field, it’s time to get visible. Write, blog, share. The world won’t notice you if you don’t show up.

The reality is that job loss can happen to anyone, no matter how good you are at your job or how long you’ve been there. I’d like to think I’m not the only one who’s been at risk, and in some ways, the end of that job was the start of something different, Losing a job sucks, but it doesn’t have to define you.

I’ll tell you something: when I lost my job, I thought it was the end of the world. Now, I’m not saying it didn’t come with a hefty dose of panic (and maybe a few too many glasses of wine), but here’s what is true: I’m excited for the first time in years. My future is uncertain, my cash flow is a mess, and I’m still figuring it all out… but I don’t have that same kind of crushing anxiety anymore.

So, if you’re feeling stuck, maybe it’s time to remind yourself that motherhood doesn’t have to be a career break, it’s a career shift. It’s not just about surviving the day-to-day; it’s about finding new ways to thrive, despite what’s holding you back. And, for the love of coffee and dry shampoo, go for it. Your career is just as much yours now as it was before.