I’ve been there. And a lot of people say, “Laura, you’re scaring us.” My job isn’t to fearmonger or freak you out - I promise! I just want to help. Whether you’re returning to work after having your first baby, thinking about juggling a career with baby number six, or noticing something weird (a shift, a change, being overlooked for promotions or pay rises), knowledge is power. If you know what to look out for - by learning from an amazing community of working mums, it can’t hurt.
Returning to work is a lot like having a baby: people love to focus on the bad bits. But unlike pregnancy and childbirth, no one really preps you for the return to work. It’s not all bad, of course. My first maternity return was surprisingly positive: my team, my boss, and the company I worked for made the process as smooth as it could be. I even progressed in my career following my first leave.
But my second maternity return? It broke my heart. And I want to make sure no other woman feels that alone during such a challenging time. This isn’t official advice, and I can’t promise it’ll solve everything, but here’s how to spot the BS when you return, and what you can do about it. (Note: I won’t cover legalities because that’s not my area, but we’ll get you clued up where it counts.)
Red Flags to Watch Out For
1. You’re Not in the Loop Anymore
You return, and suddenly no one’s CC-ing you on emails. Meetings are happening without you, and big decisions about your projects have been made by Steve, who, suspiciously, seems to have been promoted while you were wiping up mashed banana.
2. Your Role Has “Changed”
Oh, you’re back? Fantastic! Except your job has been “restructured.” You’re now heading up a completely different team (translation: doing the work no one else wanted), or worse, you’re being handed tasks that feel like a demotion. If words like “team realignment” or “business needs” start cropping up, it’s worth digging deeper.
3. The Welcome Back Is Lukewarm at Best
You’re met with awkward smiles, a desk that’s mysteriously been relocated to the corner, and your boss seems conveniently “too busy” for a proper catch-up.
4. Missed Opportunities
While you were out keeping a tiny human alive, opportunities for promotion, training, or pay reviews conveniently passed you by. “Oh, we didn’t want to bother you while you were on leave.” Translation: “We hoped you wouldn’t notice.”
5. Vibes Are Off
Listen, no one knows the office politics better than someone returning after time away. If the vibe has shifted - side-eye glances, people avoiding conversations - it’s worth digging into.
What You Can Do
1. Document Everything
Keep a record of meetings, emails, and any changes to your role. If you feel you’re being sidelined, having evidence to back it up will be invaluable if you need to escalate things.
2. Request a Re-Onboarding Plan
If they haven’t given you a clear plan for your return, ask for one. This could include a catch-up on key projects, introductions to any new team members, and a review of what’s changed since you left.
3. Schedule a Meeting With Your Manager
Be proactive. Ask for a one-on-one to discuss your role, goals, and any opportunities for progression. Frame it positively - “I’m excited to jump back in and keen to see where I can add value.”
4. Network
Build relationships with your colleagues, old and new. If you’ve been left out of conversations, reintegrating yourself can help remind people that you’re a key player.
5. Educate Yourself on Your Rights
While I can’t delve into the legal stuff, familiarise yourself with maternity and discrimination rights. If you suspect foul play, don’t hesitate to seek advice from an employment solicitor or HR professional.
6. Find Your Tribe
Talk to other working mums. Join online communities, forums, or local meet-ups. Nothing beats having a group of people who get it and can offer advice, solidarity, and sometimes wine recommendations.
7. SAR
SAR - Subject Access Request will serve as a legal receipt - you can do this at any point, on return or when things feel “off” you can formally request all files, messages, emails and conversations from your employer, where you may have been mentioned.
Remember: You’re Not Alone
Returning to work after maternity leave can be wonderful, difficult, or a messy combination of the two. If things feel off, trust your instincts. You’re not imagining it, you’re not overreacting, and you absolutely have the right to advocate for yourself.
Oh, and if they keep calling you “part-time” just because you had a baby? Politely remind them you now have two full-time jobs and are smashing them both, thank you very much.
You’ve got this. And if you don’t feel like you’ve got this, I’m here, Nutella spoon in hand, ready to cheer you on.