SARs 101

The Must-Know Right for Every Working Mum

Mar 28, 2025

I had a minor breakdown recently. I kept asking myself, "What is Worn Out Working Mum really?" The account came from a moment of deep frustration and loneliness. I started this because I needed to find women like me - women who weren’t pretending, who weren’t tearing each other apart, and most importantly, women who genuinely wanted to support one another. I wanted a community of mums who had been through it, who could say, "I see you," and help in a way that didn’t feel like more unrealistic expectations were being placed on them.

I wanted to really help! Because there’s no NCT (National Childbirth Trust aka. the British how-to-raise-a-child classes) for returning to work after kids. And, surprise surprise, there’s no support group either. If you’ve been in the workforce after a maternity leave, you’ll know that you’re expected to just figure it out. No guide, no instructions, no roadmap. The advice you get online is often fluffy, in theory, sounds good, but in practice? Total garbage. When I was navigating the chaos of becoming a mum while holding down my career, I read Lean In like it was a religious text. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some solid advice in there, but let’s not pretend that balancing everything magically is going to fix it all. What we need as women and mums is the truth - no sugar-coating. And yes, sometimes the truth is messy and scary.

What I want to share with you today isn’t meant to scare you, it’s to prepare you. Because, let’s be honest, you cannot control the fact that some people will treat you like dirt when you return to work after maternity leave. But you can protect yourself in some way. And that’s where the subject access request (SAR) comes in. No one told me about this before, and I wish I had known about it sooner. So let me tell you what it is, how it can help, and why you should use it without fear.

What is a SAR?

A Subject Access Request (SAR) is a legal tool that allows you to request all personal data a company holds about you. This is not some vague, "Can I have a copy of my records?" thing - this is a formal request, which means they have to give it to you. Under laws like the UK’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), employers are required to give you access to any personal data they have about you. This includes things like your employment records, performance evaluations, emails, disciplinary notes, and even the behind-the-scenes chatter they might have shared about you with others.

If you’ve ever felt like something shady was going on at work - whether it’s the feeling that your maternity leave is being held against you, or that your employer is finding sneaky ways to push you out - the SAR is a great way to dig into what’s really happening behind closed doors.

How Can You Use It?

To use a SAR, all you have to do is submit a request in writing to your employer (or potential employer). You’re asking for a copy of all personal data they hold about you, which could include anything from emails to meeting notes to records of decisions that affect you. You don’t need to explain why you’re asking for it, just that you want it. Simple.

Once submitted, your employer has up to one month to provide you with the information, though they can extend it by another two months in certain circumstances. If they ignore your request, or if they try to avoid giving you the information, they are in violation of the law. You can then escalate things to the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) in the UK, or the relevant regulatory body in other countries.

Why Should You Use It?

If you’ve been in the firing line of discrimination or you’ve felt like your workplace is trying to sideline you because you’re a mum, you need to use this tool. A SAR allows you to see what information has been collected and used against you. It will help you understand how your employer is portraying you and whether they’ve been making unfair decisions based on incorrect or biased data. It’s one of the most powerful tools at your disposal when navigating the minefield of discrimination, harassment, or even just feeling like you’re being overlooked.

You don’t have to tolerate being marginalised. If your employer has treated you unfairly, you now have a right to find out what they’ve said about you and how it’s being used.

Why You Should Not Be Scared to Use It

Here’s the thing: most of us are terrified to speak up at work, especially when it feels like you’re the only one calling out the truth. But I’m here to tell you that silence doesn’t protect you, it just lets the situation continue. By submitting a SAR, you are taking control over your own narrative. You’re saying, “I see you, and I’m not going to just let you do this to me.” You might be scared at first, but let me assure you that the fear you’re feeling is nothing compared to the courage you’ll feel once you’ve taken that step.

You deserve to know what’s being said about you, what’s being written about you, and what decisions are being made based on those things. And you deserve to stand up for yourself. Think of this as a form of self defence, but instead of physical strength, you’re using your knowledge and legal rights to protect yourself.

So, here’s the deal: no one should have to fight for their rights in a workplace where they’re just trying to do their job and raise their kids. If you’ve been feeling like a “problem” just because you have a family or need flexible hours, don’t be afraid to take that first step. A SAR is your way of holding your employer accountable and ensuring that they’ve treated you fairly.

Remember, it’s not just about standing up for yourself - it’s about standing up for every other woman who will walk into that workplace after you. By speaking up, you create a safer space for all of us. And that’s how we make things better. Together.

Pssst. I’ve created an easy SAR request template here, if you need it. It’s UK specific, but can be copied and altered.