Sometimes it is okay to communicate with your child that mummy just needs a minute. I often say that, make sure they are safe with toys and take myself off for 5 minutes of just being myself, in the quiet. We can’t keep walking the tightrope of being close to being the shouty mum we don’t want to be if we don’t look after ourselves and do something about extracting ourselves from a situation which is breaking us!! Sometimes it is the Rice Krispies, sometimes it is the 400th mumma and sometimes we just slept badly and don’t have much to give. It is all normal.
If it’s any consolation, I have one and I have had an outburst of tears and anger this morning. Not because she’s done anything wrong, but because I am so overwhelmed and angry at how much my life has changed, how much I have to consider before doing ANYTHING AT ALL, how little money I have left at the end of the month and relying on my husband to pay for anything “fun” (which pre-child would have been considered “normal”. I want my independence and choices back, and no one told me this would all change the second my daughter arrived.
I wouldn’t change having her for the world, but I’m not me anymore. I’m everyone else, and everyone else’s brain, but not me. And I’m sad about it.
Losing your temper is human! Strategy of taking a few minutes is great but I’ve usually already lost it before I remember. I always try to apologize after and just talk about it. And now that my kids are getting bigger they appreciate it and have learned to apologize after losing it. Showing them love and taking care of them daily is what they remember! Also eat! It helps a lot.
Sometimes it is okay to communicate with your child that mummy just needs a minute. I often say that, make sure they are safe with toys and take myself off for 5 minutes of just being myself, in the quiet. We can’t keep walking the tightrope of being close to being the shouty mum we don’t want to be if we don’t look after ourselves and do something about extracting ourselves from a situation which is breaking us!! Sometimes it is the Rice Krispies, sometimes it is the 400th mumma and sometimes we just slept badly and don’t have much to give. It is all normal.
“It’s all normal” thank you 🩷
If it’s any consolation, I have one and I have had an outburst of tears and anger this morning. Not because she’s done anything wrong, but because I am so overwhelmed and angry at how much my life has changed, how much I have to consider before doing ANYTHING AT ALL, how little money I have left at the end of the month and relying on my husband to pay for anything “fun” (which pre-child would have been considered “normal”. I want my independence and choices back, and no one told me this would all change the second my daughter arrived.
I wouldn’t change having her for the world, but I’m not me anymore. I’m everyone else, and everyone else’s brain, but not me. And I’m sad about it.
Losing your temper is human! Strategy of taking a few minutes is great but I’ve usually already lost it before I remember. I always try to apologize after and just talk about it. And now that my kids are getting bigger they appreciate it and have learned to apologize after losing it. Showing them love and taking care of them daily is what they remember! Also eat! It helps a lot.