Motherhood vs. Career: Currently 1–0
This is one mum’s story from our community - She thought she was going back to work. What she didn’t know was she was also about to go through the fight of her life - at the office and in hospital.
She went back to work when her baby was eight months old. Three days a week, topped up with annual leave, felt like the perfect compromise. She even called it her “worky little break” a chance to have a hot coffee, use her brain in a different way, and talk about something other than teething.
When her baby turned one, the annual leave ran out and she began a flexible working trial: 34 hours over four days. It felt like a win. For about ten minutes. Exactly 1.5 weeks in, her boss gathered the “lower ranking” staff for a meeting and dropped the bomb: efficiency review, roles cut, consultancy period begins. HR… or the “People Team” as they now branded themselves, hadn’t even clocked the changes in parental protection law.
Meanwhile, her baby was admitted to hospital for a month. She slept every night on a fold-out chair beside the cot. Redundancy meetings were held right there on the ward, with other parents as unwilling witnesses. At her lowest point, she was told she was “saved” not because her employer valued her, but because the law forced them to.
The job that returned to her was unrecognisable: flexibility cancelled, hours extended, responsibilities stripped back into glorified admin. Other colleagues got flexible working signed off without a hitch. She got told to be “in” five days a week.
Eight months later, she hates the job but feels trapped. Her child still needs regular hospital appointments. Probation elsewhere feels impossible. She even went for an internal role she could have done blindfolded; she nailed the presentation but, thanks to brain fog and exhaustion, stumbled through the competency interview. Rejected.
She jokes about becoming a gardener, childminder, or dog walker - jobs she thought about during the summer when life felt a bit lighter. But winter storms aren’t kind to those options either.
Her words cut through: “Motherhood has beaten me so far. Somewhere inside is the woman who just wants to do a good job at her proper job. One day she’ll be back. For now, I’m just trying to keep all the plates spinning.”
Why does no one tell us this part before family planning? Why isn’t this the conversation happening alongside antenatal classes?
It’s beautifully written and captures a very hard-to-read reality, but one that needs to be shared. Thank you for giving voice to something so many parents experience but rarely put into words. Your worn out working mom’s community love your blog. Please keep it up!!
This is basically what happened to me when I came back to work. Before I went on maternity leave I was told I’d be welcomed back with flexibility and a hybrid schedule because I was so valuable to the company, but while on maternity leave my boss called and said it wasn’t an option anymore. Anytime after that we worked out a new plan that only lasted a month or so before they changed their minds again. After being pretty much being made to go part time so they could hire a new full time person I am finally being forced to either come back into the office full time or quit. I’ll be turning in my two weeks at the end of the year.